Using inclusive language for new parents

Gender identity

Pregnancy, birth and nursing are vulnerable times for anybody. An LGBTQI+ person can be made to feel even more vulnerable when their gender identity is not acknowledged and respected. In addition, some people who give birth may identify as male - while others prefer a more neutral gender identity, as neither male or female.

Directly asking someone for their preferred pronouns and gender identity is the start. She/her/hers - he/him/his - or if non-binary, they/them. When asking for a patient's gender identity, the gender-inclusive term for their role in relation to the infant also needs to be kept in mind (and used consistently). This can range from "parent", "gestational parents" or a combination of terms - for example, "mothers and gestational parents". It's all a matter of asking, and then following through with the preferred term. 

Lactating people

The language used around lactation is laden with female gender terms. So it's good to consider the gender identity of the lactating person - and use the words that they identify with. When dealing with a female who identifies as such, it is appropriate to refer to "breast milk" or "mother's milk". But in other circumstances, "milk", "human milk", "parent's milk" or even "father's milk" may be more suitable. However, context remains essential.

Referring to "breastfeeding" may not cover all circumstances, either. The ABM recommends gender inclusive language - as appropriate for the people involved - including: "chestfeeding, lactating, expressing, pumping, human milk feeding".

Avoiding microaggressions

In Sweden, which banned sterilization of transgender people in 2013, a study looked into microaggressions experienced by transgender men (assigned female at birth) around birth and breastfeeding.

The researchers reported that these men - who were the birth parent - experienced increased problems with gender dysphoria during pregnancy. Gender dysphoria is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as, "psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one's sex assigned at birth and one's gender identity".

The participants of the study "felt like outsiders in antenatal care". The language used in consultations, group sessions, information material and patient forms equated pregnancy with women. Inclusive forms were given to transgender patients only, keeping them as the exception. Inconsistent use of pronouns triggered gender dysphoria².

When a healthcare professional was willing to listen - and sensitive to the patient's gender identity (without asking intrusive questions or showing discomfort) - they were trusted more readily. And trust is a vital part of the relationship between parents and their midwife.